How I fell in and out of love

I am a bloody-vincentian; no apologies! One of our usual Vincentians Youth meetings, I saw this guy Nelson, dark complexion, tall, well-dressed (that's usually my first attraction to the opposite sex), sitted adjacent-right behind me. I can't remember how many times I turned my neck sideways to steal some gazes, my heart was pounding, I wanted to see if he noticed me, my hopes were and I wished he would find me attractive enough to return the gaze.

Few times when I turned, our both eyes would jam and I will turn away shyly. Soon I was called upon to make a presentation, about an event I was planning then. Do you guys remember my adverts on Facebook last year about a Social Media talkshow? Aha! That was the period.

So I got up and went to make my presentation, when I was trying to get up, I was praying he wouldn't notice my difficulty getting up as a result of Muscular Dystrophy because so many guys who were interested in me lose interest the moment they discover my physical disabilities. You know the way this health condition is? I look normal standing or sitting but the moment I walk, you will notice my gait is faulty.


Some think I intentionally walk like that so they laugh at me in mockery. I have gotten used to ignoring their ignorance. What's great is that I am very curvy; ass, hip, slim waist, smooth skin (that one dey kampe!) Sometimes, I stare at my nakedness and wonder how such an endowment got flawed, God is just amazing!

After my presentation, I went back to seat and didn't turn back again because I was afraid he noticed my condition and had lost any interest if he had any in the first place. That's how one guy from my town sent me messages on Facebook that he's interested in me, immediately I posted about my physical disabilities, I didn't hear from him again, the next thing I saw on his wall were pre-wedding photos.

The meeting ended and see queue; people coming to meet me to ask for more information about my event. Guess what! I saw him on the queue too, my heart was so joyful, I couldn't wait to discharge others in his front so that I will get to his turn. Finally, it was his turn and there were few persons right behind me. I begged him to please wait let me quickly attend to those people (in my heart, I wanted us to talk very very well) luckily, he accepted.

Soon we were left alone, he asked me if I can do Social Media marketing for his business, and I asked the type of business, he said he's into building. Then he asked for my number, I gave him and asked his name, he said "Nelson," and my brain captured it immediately.

The mistake I made was that I didn't collect his own number, so I was anxiously expecting his call. One day passed, two days passed, ah! I was worried. I searched in the Vincentian Youth Whatsapp group, I couldn't identify him. It seemed he was using a different name.

To be continued...

PART 2

After few days of waiting, I was almost giving up then I posted some fresh content in our Vincentian Youth WhatsApp group, it didn't take long, I received a WhatsApp message from him.  He sent 'hi' and asked how I was doing, I replied that I was fine. So we started discussing about promoting his business online through the project I was planning then, I told him the amount it would cost and he said he was broke.

So I just accepted to promote his business almost for free. After my Social Media Talkshow, I sent him a WhatsApp message to find out why he didn't come, he said he was too busy that day. We started communicating more often via Whatsapp. His messages were usually casual, I wanted more...I wanted him to call me over the phone, I really lunged to hear his voice but I didn't want to be the first person to call because I felt it would look like I was desperate, I tried to hide my feelings.

One day, he sent me a message asking where I live, I was shocked, like really? Could this guy be having feelings for me too? So many questions crossed my mind. I told him where I lived. He said he would come and visit me the next day. I was nervous, I knew I really wanted this guy for a relationship but I was scared that it might not be his intention for wanting to visit me.

Meanwhile, He once asked me if the guy he saw me with on our meeting day was my Boyfriend. It was Ebuka, who is my close friend that he was talking about. Ebuka is a Vincentian too. He tries helping me in doing any physical activity that I find difficulty once we are out together. I told him who Ebuka was to me.

I was beginning to think he liked me but didn't want to be straight forward so I just continued hoping he would say something about it when he finally comes to see me. Finally he arrived at my house on the expected day. I went out to bring him in. I offered him water and a drink then we started talking...

To be continued in Part 3...

PART 3

He told me about one of his friend; a Lady who was jobless and needed something to do for a living and he gave her some money to start a business and the Lady didn't start the business and later came back to him to ask for another money but he shunned her.

He also shared some of the challenges he had been facing as a Vincentian. How he joined the Vincentian Society, that he was introduced into the Society by one of his female friends. He told me about how stressful it is to belong to different societies in the Catholic Church and be active in all of them.


As we continued gisting, my younger brother came out of the room and I did an introduction then they both started gisting. I was looking at him in admiration and was wishing he had feelings for me. I was just smiling at him and watched how he was gisting with my brother so freely. I interrupted their gist and asked if he could attend a church program with me.

The program is about singles and married, it was just a perfect function that we both could attend and spend more time together so I thought. He accepted to come with me. I hurried to start dressing, and when I was done, we left my brother in the house.

In the car, we continued gisting randomly. In my heart, I felt that since we were alone, it was the perfect time he could tell me what I have been lunging to hear but he didn't say anything about what I was thinking, till we got to the Church which wasn't far from the house and we entered the Church, the program was already going on, so we found a place to sit together. Sparingly, we we looked at each other and smiled.

I couldn't concentrate on what we came for but I saw he was very attentive to the Speaker, I forced myself to concentrate but i could only pay a minimal attention, stealing gazes at him in between. It was time for questions and answers, and I got up to ask a question. My question was "why can't Men be faithful to one woman?" The reason I asked that question was simple; to show him that I am a confident person despite I have physical disabilities.

After asking the question, I sat, expecting him to say something to me about the question I asked, but he didn't. He was just listening to the speaker. I was wondering why he was so quiet. The program ended and he asked me where the blessed sacrament was in our Parish and I pointed at the direction to go then we went there together and prayed.

By the time we came out of the Church, it was already dark. He offered to drop me at home and I told him not to worry because our road was so bad and it was already late for him to go drop me before he starts going back home. I told him I was going to take a byke back home and he said he will walk me to where I would get the byke. He held my hand as we walked to the junction and stood. While we were waiting for the byke, guess what he was doing to my hand?😄

To be continued in Part 4


PART 4

He was smooching and caressing the palm of my hand. I was shaking, I wanted to shout 'what are you doing'? But I was enjoying it, I was confused about how I should react. I thought it wasn't proper because he hasn't asked me out, but I decided not to be hard on myself and enjoy the moment.

After a while, I stopped a byke, and told him bye but I was wishing that moment lasted longer, it was the byke man who blew empty and slowed down in our front that spoilt the show. I had to stop the byke so that Nelson will not think I have fallen for him.

I was on the byke and still picturing our last moment. You needed to see how I was smiling to myself. I was asking myself, could this be true? Are we in love? Is this the guy I have been waiting for. As I pondered on these questions, soon the byke man was in front of my house. I got down, went it, sat in the living room alone continued smiling and replaying the memory.

After a while, I called him to know if he has gotten home, but he didn't pick. I waited for him to call back but he didn't so I called again and he picked and said he had gotten home. The next morning I was expecting his call as early as possible; this guy didn't call. It was noon, he still didn't call even till night, he still didn't... and I didn't want to be the first to call again so that he wouldn't think I have gone gaga for him.

I became worried when he didn't still call the 2nd day. I called him and asked how he was doing and he said he was fine. I was tempted to ask him why he didn't call me...

To be continued in Part 5

PART 5

But I didn't, I just told him I called to say hi, and he thanked me for calling. I asked him when he would be ready for the Social Media marketing and he said he will get back to me. Then I ended the call. I was worried why he didn't even say anything about our last meeting, didn't it matter to him? So I thought.

He hardly chat with me on Whatsapp except I send him a message first and then he will take time to reply. After some days, I summoned the courage to ask him about our last meeting. I called him in the morning on that faithful day, and inquired how he was, he said he was fine. Then I asked; Nelson, what happened? Why are you acting differently these days? You don't call me, you don't even send me WhatsApp messages, what is wrong?

He said he was busy that was why? Then I asked again, how about our last meeting? Thought it meant something? He said he will call me back, that it wasn't convenient for him to discuss that with me at that time, so I accepted and ended the call. I waited for his call the whole day but he didn't call back. I was beginning to get hurt, my feelings were pumping harder, I was scared that this guy is no longer interested in me that was why he was acting...

The next day, I called him again and went straight to the point, I asked him if he was interested in me or not and he was quiet, I asked him to answer me, then he said he will get back to me but this time, I insisted, I asked him why he carressed and smooched my hand if he wasn't interested in me. He was quiet again, I called his name and told him to answer me, that whatever he says, I was going to be fine. Then he said I should calm down.

He said he likes me but doesn't have any feelings for me yet that was why he hasn't said anything yet. So I took a deep breath and replied ok. My heart was heavy, I was deeply hurt but I didn't tell him. I started working on myself to try and forget about Nelson. I also was putting it in my prayers that God should help me get rid of the feeling.

A week passed, I was still thinking about Nelson. Sometimes, I will be tempted to call or chat with him but I controlled myself. After like a month, I was over with the feeling.  Even when I see his WhatsApp messages, I was no longer eager to reply. That was how I fell in and out of love with Nelson. It's so hard dealing with love when it's onesided. But I thank God. It was one big lesson I learnt. I should have cautioned him that night he was smooching my palm, I should have been sure of what he wanted from me before allowing myself to fall in love, Right?